


Selfish

by vakarian_shepard



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Endgame, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Making Out, Making Up, Wynne's Talk, some - Freeform, tfw u somehow forget to tag fluff, zevran's earring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 03:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8695522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vakarian_shepard/pseuds/vakarian_shepard
Summary: "I don't want to choose between your life or mine, Zev. I'd rather have ours."Cousland and Zevran's first "I love you" and the events leading up to it. Sort of.





	

“You’re quite taken with each other, aren’t you?”

Kira blinked, tilting her head and glancing over at the older woman. This was the first time they’d been on watch together—Kira hadn’t expected an interrogation, which was surely where this was headed. That, or a motherly lecture, which she also didn’t really want to hear. “I’m sorry?”

“You and Zevran. You seem to be spending an—inordinate amount of time together,” Wynne said, obviously trying to avoid saying something else.

Narrowing her eyes, not surprised in the least, Kira asked, “Is that a problem?”

Wynne shook her head almost sadly. “I’ve noticed your blossoming relationship, and I wanted to ask you where you thought it was going.”

_Nowhere_ , Kira thought with a sigh, pulling her blanket tighter around her shoulders and turning to look back at the fire. Zevran didn’t _do_ relationships, she knew that, but it would be nice… 

Shrugging, she just said, “Dunno. Somewhere good, ideally.”

Wynne sighed softly. “It just seems to me that he only ever has one thing on his mind.” Kira bristled at that, offended on his behalf. “I question the wisdom of a Grey Warden being involved in such an affair.”

Kira shook her head. “It’s not like that. _He’s_ not like that. We don’t— _I_ don’t—,” Kira cut herself off with a huff. She didn’t owe Wynne an explanation about anything, least of all her sexual preferences or lack thereof. “I don’t have to explain myself to you. What we have or don’t have is our business, not yours. You’re not my mother.”

She saw Wynne nod thoughtfully out of the corner of her eye. “Be that as it may, _you_ are a Grey Warden. You have responsibilities that supersede your own personal desires.”

“Do you think I don’t know that?” Kira snapped, glaring at the fire. “I know what I am, and where my responsibilities lie—and I also know that I am one person, a person with feelings and emotions, and _sometimes_ , believe it or not, all of this gets overwhelming. He helps, probably more than he knows.” Sighing softly, Kira picked at a loose thread on her blanket and said, “I’m an adult. I can handle my relationships and my responsibilities all at once, thank you very much.”

“Love is, ultimately, selfish,” Wynne continued, almost as if Kira had never spoken, and Kira almost flinched at the word. It was a good thing Zevran was probably asleep. Hopefully, asleep, anyway. “It demands that one be devoted to a single person, who may fully occupy one’s mind and heart, to the exclusion of all else.”

“Who said anything about love?” Kira interrupted. “And I don’t think that’s how love works. You can love many things, and still do what’s right, in the end. Love is love is love—it’s the most important thing there is, I think. What’s out there worth saving, without love? Why should I be doing any of this, if I didn’t love my country, if I didn’t love my people?”

Wynne seemed to pause at that, but pressed onward anyway. “Perhaps you’re right. But still, my advice stands. A Grey Warden cannot afford to be selfish. You may be forced to make a choice between saving your love, and saving everyone else, and then what would you do?”

“Find another way,” Kira said firmly. “And if nothing else, there’s always my life, isn’t there? _In Death, Sacrifice_ , right?” She sighed again, shaking her head. “And what would you have me do, anyway? Tell Zevran to go away?”

“You may have to, to save one or both of you unnecessary anguish later on.”

Kira snorted, shaking her head. “You really do sound like my mother. So, basically, what you’re saying is that I should inflict pain now to save us a different kind of pain later? Great logic there, Gran.” Sniffing distastefully, Kira added, “We’re not in love, anyway, but he is my friend, and if there’s one thing I, personally, need now more than ever, it’s my friends. So mind your own business, and let me do as I please, yeah? I promise not to go die before we fight the Archdemon, alright?”

“I didn’t mean to offend, but I have given my advice,” Wynne sighed. “Do with it what you will.”

 

* * *

 

Kira didn’t feel quite right, sitting on his bed when she had her own bed on the other side of the castle. She didn’t feel quite right in general, actually—not since they’d had that fight. Not since they’d _been_ fighting (everyone had been fighting, actually, and it was getting old), for the past two weeks or so now. Tomorrow they’d be marching for Denerim, though, and she really just…needed this. She was selfish, she was—Wynne was right, but she needed him with her in that final battle. It may not be the best course of action for him, and she should absolutely tell him to stay here, or to leave—but she knew that she couldn’t walk to her death without being able to kiss him goodbye, at least.

The candles were burning low now, she noticed, trying to distract herself, and she wondered if they’d go out completely before he came back to his room.

As if on cue, the door opened just as she thought that, and he came to a stop when he met her gaze. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but after a moment, he just shut it again sadly.

“Zev,” she said, voice hoarse as she rose from the bed. “I…I wanted to see you, before—before tomorrow.”

He closed the door behind him, leaning against it and watching as she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “This is all wrong,” she began. “I don’t want to be fighting anymore, Zev. Not—not now. I want to apologize for—well, everything. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or upset. I just want you to be happy, okay? So, whatever that means, that’s what I want, even if,” she paused, looking away from his face to the wall. “Even if that means you want to leave.”

“I _don’t want_ —Kira, you can not believe that I want to leave. Not after— _everything_.”

“Can’t I?” she laughed bitterly. “We’ve been fighting for two solid weeks. I’m surprised you haven’t already taken off, actually. I’ve been—it was unfair of me to expect that of you when you offered me the earring. You made it clear what you wanted when we started this and I overstepped a boundary. I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “I had no right to react in such a manner,” he murmured. “I’ve hurt you—said cruel things that I didn’t mean. I am sorry, too.”

They were both quiet for a moment, letting their apologies sink in, before Kira sniffled and asked softly, “What changed?”

“…Sorry?”

“Something changed between us. What was it?” she repeated, glancing over at him now.

He was quiet for a moment, before he sighed and asked, “Are you…certain you wish to talk about this? I really do not know what to say.”

She took a moment to respond as well, mostly because her mind was drawing a blank. Eventually, she settled on, “Are you having second thoughts about— _whatever_ we are?” 

“I…no, this…I am acting like a child, I realize. I apologize. Let me try to explain.” He sighed again and crossed the room to her, trying to catch her eye. 

She bit into her lip, fighting valiantly to keep the tears from falling, avoiding his gaze as her face burned. She’d rather have been anywhere else but here, she thought. She was a coward, and her heart already hurt from his inevitable explanation that this had been nothing more than something fun, and that he didn’t want—

“An assassin,” he began after a moment, “must learn to forget about sentiment. It is dangerous. You take your pleasures where you can, when life is good. To expect anything more would be reckless. I thought it was the same between us. Something to enjoy, a pleasant diversion and little more, and yet…”

Against her better judgment, her eyes snapped up to his, hope leaping into her throat so quickly she nearly choked on it. He seemed to be waiting for her to respond, so she took a shaky breath and coughed a little. “I…know what you mean,” she tried. “I wanted—to feel wanted, just for a little while. The world was ending and I…you were just…” She broke off with a weak laugh, looking back at the desk as a tear managed to escape. “Having such a handsome man want to kiss me felt good, and it felt even better when my— _preference_ didn’t bother you, whether it meant anything or not.”

Tenderly, he brought his hand to her cheek, swiping the tear away with his thumb and lingering before dropping it back to his side. “I grew up amongst those who sold the illusion of love, and then I was trained to make my heart cold in favor of the kill. Everything I have been taught says what I feel is wrong.” He stepped back a little, taking a deep, calming breath. “Yet…I cannot _help_ it. Since the first time we kissed, I have been nothing but confused. Do you understand me at all?”

She laughed, wiping at her eyes, finally turning to look at him. “I don’t know much more about this sort of thing either, Zev. All I know is that I can’t stop thinking about you, and I want to kiss you all the time, be _with_ you all the time.”

He smiled a little, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I know you are human, and human _nobility_ at that, so I understand this might be asking too much, considering my background, but—all I need to know is if there might be some future for _us_ , some possibility of…I do not know what.”

Kira grinned at him, tilting her head, stomach flipping excitedly at the way he said the word ‘us’. “ _Maker_ , I hope so.”

His grin lit up his face this time, and she giggled, feeling lighter than air. “I…still have the earring,” he said, stepping closer to touch a little box on the armoire. “I would like to give it to you…as a token of affection. Will you take it?”

“Yes,” she murmured, and the word felt heavy. She got the feeling this meant a little more than a simple token of affection. “I will.”

“Then that is enough for me,” he said with a nod, pulling the box closer and opening it, pulling out the little golden hoop he’d offered her a few weeks ago. He moved to put it on her, but paused confusedly. “Are your ears pierced? It’s a bit dark and I don’t recall—”

She laughed. “Give it here.”

As she fiddled with the earring in her left earlobe, he kissed her softly on the forehead, touching his hand to her cheek. “I am sorry for acting so strangely,” he sighed, resting his forehead against hers. “I think I will be better, now. _Much_ better.”

“Good,” she responded lightly, hands coming to rest on his chest. He pulled back a bit, touching the earring lightly, a sort of faraway look on his face that made her stomach flip again. They stayed like that for a beat, before his eyes flicked to her lips, and she grinned. “Are you going to kiss me or— _hmm_!”

Cupping her face with both hands, he kissed her firmly, grinning against her mouth a little at the whimper her sentence had faded into. He deepened the kiss with a soft little sigh, stepping into her as her arms slid up around his shoulders. He kept stepping into her, backing her up until her back touched the wall and pressing closer still. She pressed back, rising up on her toes as she kissed him back. His hands slid down her neck gently, before he moved his arms to wrap around her waist, lifting her up a little as he urged her closer.

She was the tiniest bit out of breath when he broke away to trail kisses down her jawline and onto her neck. Tilting her head for him, she asked, “Can I stay with you tonight?”

“You can stay with me as long as you like, _mi amor,_ ” he murmured, tugging gently on her earring with his teeth.

With a soft, contented sigh, Kira buried her face in his shoulder and closed her eyes, smiling a little when he did the same. 

_I love you_.

The thought took her by surprise, in the sureness of it, the ease with which it appeared, like a sigh on a breeze. It had her turning further into his embrace, slipping a hand into the hair at the nape of his neck and sighing into his shoulder. There was nowhere else she’d rather be in this moment, she realized as his arms tightened around her waist. 

_I love you so much…_

It wasn’t really late when they crawled into bed, but they didn’t sleep right away. Desperately, both of them suddenly feeling the urgency of the situation they were about to face, he kissed her, rolling on top of her to pin her to the mattress as he deepened the kiss. She cupped his face in her hands, feeling the muscles in his jaw moving as he kissed her, roughly now, sharp teeth nipping at her lower lip. 

Maker, she wanted to tell him everything, she thought as she wrapped her arms around him and he climbed further on top of her. He slept with his shirt off, always, no matter how cold it was, and so she could feel every scar on his back as she ran her hands up it. He didn’t tense as she brushed over them like he normally did—just made a tiny sound into her mouth and kissed her a little slower, hands digging into her hips like he was trying to steady himself.

There was something different about this, she thought through the haze that clouded her mind. He was shaking, she realized, and a second later, as she brought her hands back to his face, she realized that she was too. This was the first time that they were experiencing the rush of having their feelings returned—was that it? Or was it the looming threat of war that had him pressing closer and closer, like he was trying to memorize the way she tasted, the way she felt against him?

Eventually, he broke the kiss, panting a little, and buried his face in the crook of her neck. 

“Would you mind terribly if we slept like this tonight?” he asked softly, hesitantly, like he was afraid she was going to say no. _One last time_.

“Of course not,” she breathed, holding him close. He shifted a bit to get comfortable, resting his head just beneath her chin and letting out a slow, slightly shaky breath.

They lay like that for a bit, but it was obvious by the tension in both of them that neither of them were close to drifting off. Sighing, Kira continued to run her hand through his hair, and to stroke his back as she said, “You know, Wynne wanted me to tell you to leave.”

He chuckled. “When was this?”

“A while ago—I think after the first time you kissed me in front of everybody. She said that I was being selfish, that you only had one thing on your mind and a Grey Warden should be above that. I almost yelled at her on your behalf, but…she really did have no reason to assume you thought about other things, did she?”

He snickered. “No, she really didn’t.”

Smiling a little, she continued, “She told me that someday I may have to chose between saving you, and saving everyone else, and she asked me what I would do. I told her I’d find another way, or I’d sacrifice myself because that’s what Wardens do, but—but that wasn’t true.”

“I am selfish,” Kira confessed in a whisper, glad that he wasn’t looking at her. “I am so selfish, because the more I think about it, the more I realize that I don’t want to choose between your life or mine, Zev. I’d rather have _ours_. Our life—together. You make me so happy, and I just…” She shook her head. “You asked if there could be a future for us earlier, and I really do hope that there is one. If there is a time after this war, if we both survive the Archdemon—I want this. I want you. I want _us_. More than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”

She could feel goosebumps rise on his skin as he pushed himself up onto his elbows to look at her face. His eyes were unguarded for once, his face more open than she’d ever seen it. She watched his eyes wander as he shook his head, laughing a little. “I am the luckiest man in Thedas,” he sighed, leaning in to kiss her gently. 

Shakily, as he pulled away, he added, “I know…I said that the Grey Warden always dies, but…try not to die. Please. I don’t—know that I could bear losing you, Kira. Not—not after all this.”

“That was the plan,” she murmured, tilting her chin to kiss him again, stroking her thumbs softly across his cheekbones. “You’ll try not to die, too, right?”

“Of course.”

There was a moment, where they both just _looked_ at each other, fear creeping up their spines, until Kira squeezed her eyes shut and used her grip on his face to bring his forehead to hers. “I’m scared, Zev,” she admitted, voice cracking. “I’m so scared.”

He huffed out a bitter laugh. “Me, too.”

“You’ll fight with me, won’t you?” _Selfish, selfish, selfish. Putting him in harm’s way just because you need the emotional support_. “When I go fight the Archdemon, you’ll be there, too?”

But all he did was smile. “For you, my dear, I would march into the Black City itself. If you want me with you, then I will be with you. Never doubt it.”

_I love you_ , she wanted to say, but she couldn’t force the words up past her throat. It was probably too soon for that, anyway. Pulling him down for one last kiss, she sighed and said, “It’s getting late. We should try to sleep.”

He hummed, grinning as he settled back the way he’d been laying before. 

“Sleep well,” she mumbled.

He chuckled softly. “ _Si, amor_. You, too.”

 

* * *

 

Her chest hurt.

Her chest hurt, and there was nothing she could do about it, as she laced up her armor. This was it—if they didn’t kill the Archdemon here, the Blight would continue to spread until it consumed more than just Ferelden. She had no mirror, but just the familiar weight of her Warden-Commander armor had her standing straighter, and she thought perhaps it was old magic that had her nerves calming, just a little. Perhaps the metal had absorbed some of that Fade magic after all those years.

Behind her, the tent flap opened, and someone familiar came up and pressed a kiss to her cheek, wrapping strong arms around her waist and swaying them slowly. 

“It is almost time,” Zevran murmured. “Are you ready?”

She laughed quietly, turning in his arms to face him. “Not really.”

He kissed her, firm and lingering, sighing as he pulled away. “Neither am I,” he confessed. “I wanted to tell you, before we left—assassinating you has been one of the best things to ever happen to me.”

She snorted, giggling as she shook her head. “I’d love to be assassinated by you again, once this is all over.”

Zevran chuckled. “Oh? Is that so?”

Kira grinned, only to be cut off by a horn sounding somewhere in the camp, and just like that, her nerves returned full force. Zevran took both of her hands in his, squeezing tightly to bring her attention back to him. There was a fierce sort of determination in his eyes as she sighed shakily.

“Together?” she asked softly.

“Together.”

 

* * *

 

“Kira, _no_ —it should be me,” Alistair was saying as the Archdemon lay, feet away, breathing heavily as it bled on the ground.

She shook her head at him, glaring through the pain in her ribs as she took a breath. “Why? Because of Duncan? I’m the oldest, Al—I’ve been the leader. It’s my job.”

Nadia interrupted her with a, “No, it should be me. I’ve done some pretty terrible things in my life—let me make up for it with this.”

Kira rolled her eyes. “We don’t even know that whoever kills it is going to die, right? You—Alistair, you managed—?”

“ _Yes_. Yes, I managed, but do we really trust Morrigan that much?”

“Does it matter?” Nadia asked. “Someone has to kill it—one of us has to kill it, whether her ritual works or not makes no difference, right?”

Over Alistair’s shoulder, Kira noticed Zevran and Wynne, both looking a little worse for wear, but in one piece. Zevran was bleeding from an injury on his head, and he was hunched like he’d been hit in the stomach, or maybe the ribs. There was a knot in Kira’s throat, but she knew it had to be her. It had to—there was no other choice here.

Pushing between Alistair and Nadia, ignoring their protests, she walked straight up to Zevran and, cupping his face, pressed her lips firmly to his. She could feel his confusion in the way he kissed her back, and she scrunched her eyebrows together as a few tears slipped down her cheeks. Fingers digging into his cheeks, she pulled away and met his gaze fiercely.

“ _I love you_ ,” she said, voice hoarse and shaky. “I love you so much, Zevran. Don’t you ever forget that.”

She saw the realization wash over him, saw the raw terror, and she knew that even though he didn’t know what happened when Wardens killed Archdemons, he could tell something was very wrong. As she pulled away to go and face her fate, he clutched desperately at her waist, a strangled, “ _Kira_ ,” on his lips just as she managed to shrug out of his grasp.

Clutching Starfang so tightly that it almost hurt, she marched right past her bickering friends and up to the monster. She had to kill it before it died of blood loss, because if it died before she killed it, all this fighting would have been for naught. Planting one foot firmly on its head, she took a shaky breath as she looked back over at her friends. Alistair and Nadia were holding Zevran back, as he put up a mighty struggle, trying to come to her side because he promised that he’d be there—and Zevran was a man of his word, she knew.

Offering him one last, tremulous smile, she turned back to the beast, raising her sword high and driving it down hard in between the scales at the base of its skull, just like she’d done with the high dragon up near Haven.

Light, brighter than she’d ever known burst forth from the wound, and she felt the soul of the Old God fill her, like water in her lungs, suffocating in its overwhelming presence. Vaguely, she was aware that she’d screamed when the sensation first hit her, but now she grit her teeth and snarled, anchoring herself in her body by hanging onto the feeling of her sword in her hands. If this creature wanted her life, it would have to fight her for it.

Just as she was sure her thumping, racing heart was about to explode, the presence faded, tearing out of her back and leaving nothing but pain in its wake. She tried valiantly to hold onto her consciousness, she did, but the pain in her back was overwhelming, and before she knew what was happening, everything faded away into nothingness…

 

* * *

 

_Pain._

Kira woke with a strangled gasp, and her back—her back was on _fire_. Whimpering, she moved to turn onto her stomach, only to be stopped by hands on her shoulders. Her heart was racing, the pain flaring as the hands pushed her further into the mattress, and through the rushing of her pulse in her ears, she could almost hear the voices of who she could only assume were healers murmuring above her. She recognized a few of the voices, but her pain-filled mind couldn’t place them.

“Kira,” said a familiar, soft voice, “we’re going to sit you up a little now to give you a pain draught. It will make you sleepy, but it will make the pain fade, alright?”

She nodded, opening her eyes a little to look up at her healers. Nadia and Wynne, her mind finally provided, but then she was distracted by the bitter potion they fed her, making her cough. 

The relief was almost immediate, and she sighed gratefully as she settled back into the pillows, numb and exhausted. Taking a deep breath as Nadia slipped her hand into hers, she sighed and asked, “What happened?”

“We’re not really sure,” Wynne answered. “After you killed the Archdemon, you collapsed, and your back seemed to be—well, _missing_ , once we got your armor off.”

"Is that all?" Kira slurred, laughing. "Could have been worse, I suppose."

“We were all so scared,” Nadia mumbled, squeezing Kira’s hand. “I thought you were dead.”

“We all did,” Wynne agreed quietly, brushing Kira’s hair back from her forehead.

The pain draught was doing its job, and Kira was having a hard time keeping her eyes open, but something itched at the back of her mind—something was missing. What was—?

“Zev,” Kira mumbled, forcing her eyes to stay open. “Where’s Zev?”

“Probably still pacing the hallway outside,” Nadia replied, huffing out a breathless laugh. “You want to see him?”

Kira laughed a little. “Please.”

The next few minutes blurred together as Kira struggled to stay awake, but she managed to turn her head towards the door when her love stepped in, closing the door quietly behind him.

“Hi, love,” she murmured, smiling sweetly at him.

He laughed, and the sound was almost a little watery as he crossed the room to her side, sliding into the chair beside her bed and taking her hand in both of his, pulling it to his lips and kissing it softly. “ _I love you, too_ ,” he breathed, golden eyes glittering in the candlelight. 

She giggled as he squeezed her hand. “I know, Zev,” she sighed, rubbing her thumb across the back of his knuckles. And it was true. He’d never said it, but she knew, somewhere deep down. “I love you, too.”

Zevran reached forward with shaking fingers to touch her cheek, smiling a little when she leaned into his touch. “I thought,” he started softly, “that you were _dead_. Alistair and Surana were so certain, when you fell…”

She smiled wryly. “Guess I didn’t help when I kissed you and told you I loved you while crying, huh?”

His laugh was almost a cough. “No. No, that made it infinitely worse.”

She wanted to tell him why Alistair was so certain, why she’d been sure, why she _wasn’t_ dead, but she wasn't sure what he’d think. She didn’t want him to hate her, not yet. Kira just wanted to revel in their victory for a bit, to revel in the fact that they were both _here_ and _alive_ and there was a chance that they could be together and alive for a very _long time_ after this. She didn’t want to argue about morals and right and wrong right now, especially not through the fog in her mind from the pain draught. 

She opened her mouth to say something, maybe to apologize, but he just smiled and shook his head, leaning over to press a kiss to her forehead. “Sleep, my love. We can talk more later.”

She was already drifting, but she just managed to breathe, “ _Stay_ ,” with the last of her energy.

“Always.”

 

* * *

 

The day of the coronation came sooner than she’d have liked, and she was still very sore and covered in bandages as she struggled into her armor in front of the mirror. Zevran helped, making idle chit-chat to distract her from the pain. He was wearing some sort of ridiculous, red silk shirt that complimented his skin and hair so perfectly that it made her stomach flip just to look at him.

She felt different, she realized as she met her own eyes in the mirror. She couldn’t tell if she felt older, or more mature perhaps, but something about her was different. She took in her round cheeks and strong jaw curiously, from her full lips to her eyes, and she saw something she’d never seen on her face before.

Confidence.

Kira felt better about herself than she could ever remember feeling, so comfortable in her own skin that for once she didn’t feel the need to look away from her reflection. She knew what they were calling her—the _Hero of Ferelden_ —and she was certain she’d never felt more beautiful than she did at this moment, looking at herself in her hero’s armor, the same armor she’d used to practically save the world in. 

She saw it now. She saw the warrior, the hero, the person she was always meant to be staring back at her in the reflection. Saw the person her mum and dad had seen from the beginning, perhaps.

And, she thought, smiling at the other pair of golden eyes in the reflection, she saw a future full of the promise of happiness and adventure. 

Eyes landing on the little golden hoop hanging from her left ear, she added, _and love_. Lots of love.

“They are waiting for you, my Warden,” came Zevran’s voice softly. His hand touched her arm gently, avoiding her still wounded back, meeting her gaze in the mirror. “Shall we?”

“Yeah,” she said, chuckling as she turned to press a quick kiss to his lips. “Yeah, let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

The atmosphere after the coronation almost felt hollow, as the nobles and her ragtag gang of heroes mingled, procrastinating going outside to greet the masses. This was the end of a lot of things, she knew—many of her friends would be leaving, either going home or going to pursue bigger and better things. She’d been made Warden-Commander of Ferelden, in light of her heroics, and she’d already picked Nadia as her second-in-command. They would be leaving in a few months for Amaranthine, for the Wardens of Ferelden had been gifted the Arling as a thank you from Queen Anora. Alistair would be leaving to reconnect with the Wardens of Orlais soon as well.

Zevran was currently surrounded by admirers, and he caught her eye from across the room, winking and grinning at her as he continued to dazzle his groupies.

She giggled, shaking her head just as Wynne stepped up beside her.

“I was wrong about the two of you,” she said softly. She wasn’t looking at Kira when Kira looked at her, eyes on Zevran almost contemplatively.

“You think?” Kira laughed, crossing her arms and trying not to wince at the way her back protested.

Wynne smiled. “There seems to be something special between the two of you. His demeanor changes when he’s with you. There is a tenderness to his gaze I’d never seen until recently.”

“I love him,” Kira replied simply. “I love him, and he loves me back.”

Humming softly, Wynne said, “Good. Hold onto that.” She paused, and then, sighing, she added, “I was too harsh in my judgment of you before, and for that I am sorry.”

Kira shook her head. “All that talk about your bosom, I don’t blame you for believing that he only cared about sex,” she chuckled. “Though you must know he was just saying those things because he didn’t want to talk and he knew it would make you stop.”

“Was that it?” Wynne asked, laughing. “I suppose that makes sense, in an odd way.”

“Not that you don’t look terribly good for your age,” Kira added, “but he is a completely whole and rounded person, who has many interests and cares about a lot of things.”

“Including you.”

“Including me.”

Wynne sighed heavily as they stood, watching the congregation of nobles talk amongst themselves. “What you have,” she began after a moment, “may not last forever; death and duty may part you, but love’s worthiness is not diminished because of that. I…should have seen that before. Instead, you learn to cherish every precious moment you spend together, knowing it may be the last.”

“And for those of us watching,” she continued, “well, it brings warmth to these old bones to know that something so beautiful can be found in the midst of chaos and strife.”

Kira smiled and nodded. “I don’t necessary believe in fate, or destiny, or whatever, but this— _us_ —it feels…this was meant to happen, and I’m almost glad for all the horror and bloodshed that it took to get me here. Because here is where he is, and he’s done something for me that I couldn’t do for myself.”

“And what’s that?”

“He loves me for who I am. And that’s—that’s probably more important than he knows. And I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to him, or to at least make him feel as loved as I do every time we’re together.” After another pause, Kira laughed a little, and added, “And Death can kiss my ass, because I’ve finally found something to live for, and I’ll be damned if I won’t be going down without a hell of a fight.”

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_( ─‿‿─ )_/¯


End file.
